187 Woodworking Puns That Are Plane-ly Funny!

Sawdust and Chuckles: Puns for the Woodworking Enthusiast

1. I told a joke about a board, but it was too plank.
2. When a tree falls in love, it’s pine-ning for affection.
3. What’s a woodworker’s favorite instrument? A cello, because you can’t beat that wood varnish!
4. I saw my table in half. It’s the only way I can halve a table.
5. Never trust a tree, they’re kind of shady.
6. I wanted to tell a wood joke, but I’m afraid it wooden go over well.
7. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
8. Did you hear about the wooden car? It had a wooden engine and wooden wheels, but it wooden go!
9. When the lumberjack quit his job, he said it was just too chopping and changing.
10. Why was the woodworker always calm? Because he knew how to plane ahead.
11. I tried to catch some fog earlier but I mist.
12. You can’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something or leading you down.
13. Did you hear about the wooden horse? It wood not stop trotting.
14. If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?
15. What do you call a well-dressed lumberjack? Spruce Wayne.
16. I’m not very good at making wood puns. Maybe I need to sharpen my skills.
17. Why did the woodworking show get canceled? The ratings were board-ering on terrible.
18. What do you call it when you have too many grains in your wood? Overwhelm.
19. After the tree got cut down, it was stumped.
20. I got wood glue in my hair during woodworking class, now I have a permanent bond.
21. You know what I saw today? I saw a saw that could out-saw any other saw I ever saw.
22. Why don’t trees get lost? They always stick to their roots.
23. What’s a tree’s favorite dating app? Timber.
24. Why are carpenters always such good storytellers? They have the best board games.

III. Whittling Wit: Carving Out the Funniest Woodworking Puns

• 1. You must be a chisel, because you’ve carved out a place in my heart.
• 2. I’m board of all these jokes, but I’ll plank down some more.
• 3. I saw your potential as a comedian the moment you walked in.
• 4. Knot everyone understands woodworking humor, but I think we’re on the same grain.
• 5. Wood you believe I just made that up on the spot?
• 6. I’m not being knotty, I’m just branching out with my jokes.
• 7. Don’t leaf me hanging, share a joke too!
• 8. Are you a wood whisperer? Because you know exactly what to say to make me smile.
• 9. Did you hear about the wooden car? It wooden go!
• 10. I’m not a great comedian, but I woodwork on it.
• 11. My jokes are like fine furniture, they take time to craft.
• 12. If jokes were a wood project, I’d nail it.
• 13. I told a joke to my table saw, but it cut me off.
• 14. I’m whittling away the hours, trying to carve a niche in comedy.
• 15. Don’t worry about splinters, my puns are polished.
• 16. You can’t handle these jokes? You must be a bit plane.
• 17. My woodworking jokes are a solid oak-ay!
• 18. I tried to come up with a woodworking pun that would work. I think I nailed it, but nobody’s board!

Plane Puns: Ironing Out The Fun in Woodworking

1. When the woodworker got an iron for his birthday, he said it was plane awesome.
2. I tried to tell a joke about a block plane, but it never really took off.
3. Have you heard about the wooden plane? It never flies because it always woodwork.
4. Woodworkers are flat out good at making things plane and simple.
5. I bought a new plane, and now my skills are really smoothing out.
6. My workbench is really just a shelf for my plane collection, if I’m being perfectly flat with you.
7. Woodworkers make terrible comedians; their jokes are too plane.
8. Ever tried to plane against the grain? It’s knot a good idea!
9. When woodworkers get together, the conversation is never boring – it’s totally plane-speaking!
10. Using a hand plane is really a chip off the old block.
11. When the plane’s blade dulls, you might say the situation is less than cutting-edge.
12. You can always trust a woodworker to level with you because they never beat around the bush, they go straight to the plane facts.
13. When a woodworker finishes planing, they always say, “Well, that shaved some time off my project!”
14. How does a woodworker stay fit? By getting plenty of planercize!
15. I was going to make a belt out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time—like planing end grain.
16. Woodworkers are always on a good plane of existence – especially in the workshop.
17. If you don’t pay attention while using a plane, you might just miss the point entirely.
18. Why don’t wood planes get lonely? Because they always have a handle on things!
19. The woodworker’s favorite airline? It’s Plane and Simple Airways!
20. When the woodworker planed the board flat, everyone was floored.
21. I told my plane it was doing a good job. It’s important to give them encouragement, or else they feel unappreciated and might not work as well.
22. Why did the woodworker bring a plane to the bar? To smooth things over.
23. When the smoothing plane retired, it said it was time to put down roots and leave the grooves behind.
24. Why did the tree get a job? Because it wanted to go against the grain and branch out into planing!
25. My friends told me I was making too many woodworking puns, but I said I couldn’t help it, it’s just plane in my nature.

Joinery Jokes: Dovetailing Humor into Woodcraft

Hey there, fellow woodworkers and humor enthusiasts! Get ready to nail some laughs with these joinery-themed puns.

1. Why did the joiner break up with the table? It just wasn’t plane love.
2. I tried to make a joke about joinery, but I screwed it up.
3. Joiners are great comedians – they always know how to frame a joke!
4. What did the woodworker say after a perfect joint? “Nailed it!”
5. Why was the tenon always stressed? It couldn’t handle the pressure of being in a tight joint.
6. The joint wasn’t perfect, so I told it to pull itself together.
7. I told my shelf to brace itself; it’s about to join the wall.
8. What’s a woodworker’s favorite game? Hide and go seek. Because good joinery is hard to find!
9. Good joinery is like a relationship – it’s all about the connection.
10. Why don’t woodworkers get lost? They always stick to their joinery map.
11. Joiners do it with precision – otherwise, the joke’s on them!
12. What did the chair say to the woodworker? “Thanks for joining me!”
13. Why was the joinery book boring? It was all about joints and nothing to laugh at.
14. Woodworkers like to party because they’re always joining in!
15. Why was the dovetail so proud? It was the joint of the party.
16. How do you make a woodworker laugh? Tell them a knock-on-wood joke!
17. Why did the woodworker become a comedian? Because his joinery was always a bit funny.
18. What do you call a joint that’s not funny? Unhinged!
19. If woodworkers are comedians, then their stages are definitely the workbenches.
20. What did the mortise say to the tenon? “I feel so connected to you.”
21. Why did the joiner keep all his jokes a secret? Because if they leaked, it would spoil the finish!
22. How do woodworkers throw a party? They joiner together!
23. A joint walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Wood you like a drink?”
24. Did you hear about the joint that wasn’t funny? It was a real bore.