218 Hockey Puns That Are Ice-Splittingly Hilarious!

Whether you’re a fan of the zamboni or the penalty box, there’s no denying the unique charm of hockey humor. It’s a blend of icy puns and frosty fun that’ll have you chilling with laughter.

So let’s drop the puck on this comedic face-off, where stick-handling meets tickling your funny bone. Grab your gear, lace up your skates, and get ready to glide through a game where the only goal is a good chuckle. After all, in this league, every player is a ‘punny’ forward, and every joke scores the hat trick of humor. Are you ready? Because the puck drops here, and the arena of jesters just got iced!

When it comes to hockey humor, we’re never offside. So let’s get this puck-ty started!

Contents

1 Slapstick Slapshots: The Best Hockey Puns on the Ice
2 Puck-er Up for Laughter: Wordplays for Hockey Fans
3 Breaking the Ice: Hilarious Puns for Every Hockey Position
4 Power Play Puns: Scoring Big with Hockey Humor
5 Slapstick Humor: A Collection of Ice-Cool Hockey Puns
6 Overtime Laughs: Endless Entertainment with Hockey Wordplay
7 Conclusion: The Final Buzzer on Hockey Puns

Slapstick Slapshots: The Best Hockey Puns on the Ice

I tried to play hockey with a broken stick, but I couldn’t get a handle on it.
Why are hockey players bad at hide and seek? They always get caught icing.
When the game is tied, hockey players like to chill out in overtime.
Did you hear about the hockey player who works at a restaurant? He’s the best at serving up checks!
Why did the hockey coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back.
Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Bruins prefer cups!
I asked a hockey player for a joke and he gave me a “puck” line.
What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? Ghoulie!
Why are hockey rinks well-known? Because they always get a lot of Zamboni!
A hockey player’s favorite kitchen gadget must be the blender—they love a good mix-up on the ice.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of magic? Puck tricks!
Why was the centipede kicked off the hockey team? Too many feet infractions!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? They always aim for slapstick but end up getting checked.
If a hockey player gets injured in a coffee shop, does that mean they’ve been de-caffeinated?
Did you hear about the hockey player that made an album? It’s full of hits!
What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A chimpion!
Why do hockey teams always carry a spare jersey? In case they need to make a quick change after a power play!
What’s a hockey player’s least favorite nursery rhyme? “Icing on the Wall.”
Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box? Because he needed some “me” time.
Why do hockey players always carry a spare puck? In case they get into a sticky situation!
Why is Cinderella so bad at hockey? Her coach is a pumpkin and she always runs away from the ball!
Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician? A hat trickster!
Why do ducks make great hockey fans? They’re always ready to POND-er over the plays!
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Floss Angeles Kings!

Puck-er Up for Laughter: Wordplays for Hockey Fans

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. Classic mix-up!
I told my friend he should play hockey goalie, but he just couldn’t let it go.
You know you’re a true hockey fan when summer is just a three-month hockey intermission.
Why do hockey players work at bakeries during the off-season? Because they’re great at icing!
My hockey team is so bad they could ice skate uphill.
I asked the hockey player to pass me the popcorn, but he missed it three times.
Ever noticed how hockey players are always younger? They shave off a few years with every game!
Hockey players are great at social distancing; they’re always a stick-length apart!
Why don’t hockey teams drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Bruins take all the cups!
How do hockey players stay cool? By sitting next to the fans!
Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open!
Hockey is more enjoyable in the winter – you get to cold-check someone!
I tried to get into a hockey team, but they said I wasn’t ice-culated enough.
What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? Ghoulie!
If you watch a hockey game in reverse, you see them apologize for all the fights!
The hockey player was so bad at aim, he’s now a window cleaner on the side.
Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? She accused him of icing another girl!
Why are hockey rinks well-built? Because they’re framed with good checks!
Why do hockey players always carry a spare stick? In case they get into a sticky situation!
Why did the hockey player get thrown out of the car dealership? He was always trying to puck-er up the prices!
I was going to tell a joke about the Stanley Cup, but it’s better if you just bowl with it.
My friend said he knew nothing about hockey. I told him, “Keep your stick on the ice, and you’ll figure it out.”
I’m reading a book on the history of hockey. It’s called “Ice Times.”
Why are bad hockey teams like grizzly bears? Every fall, they go into hibernation.
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Caps!

Breaking the Ice: Hilarious Puns for Every Hockey Position

Guess what the goalie said to the puck? “Catch you later!”
Why did the defenseman go to art school? To perfect his draw!
Our goalie’s not clumsy, he just likes to save with style.
Why was the hockey team so good at yoga? Because they mastered the goalie pose!
What’s a center’s favorite type of music? Hip check-hop!
Why are goalies always calm? Because they can’t let their emotions puck their performance!
What do you call an offensive hockey player? A real pro-duce scorer!
Why don’t defensemen use paper? Because they always block!
The winger said he was a magician on the ice – his hat trick proved it!
Why did the goalie break up with the puck? It was moving too fast!
What’s a goalie’s favorite snack? A save-ory turnover!
Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie up the score!
What do you call a defenseman with a burger? A grill master on and off the ice!
Ever heard about the modest hockey player? He always passes the credit!
Why do hockey players work at bakeries during off-season? They’re great at icing!
What do you call a pig on ice? A pork-check!
Why was Cinderella so bad at hockey? She had a pumpkin for a coach and kept running away from the ball!
Why do hockey players make terrible comedians? They always punch(line) below the belt.
What do gritty hockey players eat for breakfast? Pucks with syrup!
Why do hockey players never sweat the small stuff? Because they’re too cool for it!
Did you hear about the hockey player who works at the restaurant? He’s the best at serving up assists!
What do a goalie and a magician have in common? They both do hat tricks!
Why did the hockey player cross the rink? To get to the face-off circle!
What’s a hockey player’s favorite kitchen gadget? The zamboni mixer!
Why don’t hockey teams play cards? Too many suits on the ice!

Power Play Puns: Scoring Big with Hockey Humor

When the team is struggling, they really need to stick together!
I told my friend he couldn’t make ice hockey puns. He said, “Just watch me net some!”
Why do hockey players make the best friends? Because they always check in!
The tiny psychic escaped prison: Call that a small medium at large on ice.
Our team is great at social distancing; they miss the net every time!
Don’t trust an atom on your team. They make up everything about their stats!
Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite restaurant? Icy Spoons.
I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
Got a hockey team of felines? That’s pawsome power play!
What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A Chimpion.
Our goalie is so good, he doesn’t save pucks; he redeems them!
Why do hockey players work at bakeries? Because they’re great at icing.
If you have a hockey team of cows, is it called the Moo York Rangers?
Why don’t they play hockey in the jungle? Too many cheetahs on the ice.
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Plaque Hawks.
Hockey in the savannah is tough, there’s always a lion on the ice.
Why was Cinderella so bad at hockey? Because she kept running away from the puck.
I’m not saying our goalie is bad, but he only stops the puck by accident!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
We need a new Zamboni driver; the last one just kept breaking the ice.

Slapstick Humor: A Collection of Ice-Cool Hockey Puns

Why was the bad hockey player sent to the bank? Because he always checked too much.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite fast food? Ice burgers!
I tried to get into a hockey game but I missed. It was just puck luck.
Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they’re afraid of the penalty box.
Did you hear about the hockey player that performs magic? He’s great at hat tricks.
What do hockey players and magicians have in common? Deke-ing people out!
Why are hockey rinks so well-lit? To avoid puck-ering in the dark!
Why did the hockey player get a job at the bakery? He was great at icing.
How do hockey players stay cool? By sitting next to their fans!
A hockey player’s favorite movie? “The Mighty Ducks” of course, it’s ice-sational!
Why do hockey players never sweat? They have too many fans!
Why did the hockey player break up with the puck? It just couldn’t commit to one goal.
What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup? A chimpion!
Why was the computer so good at hockey? Because it had a hard drive!
Why did the hockey team go to outer space? They wanted to shoot for the stars!
Why are ghosts terrible at hockey? They always miss the net!
Why did the hockey puck make a great detective? It was always getting to the bottom of the net!
Why was Cinderella so bad at hockey? She kept running away from the puck!
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey team? The Plaquehawks!
Why did the tomato turn red at the hockey game? It saw the salad dressing room!
What do you call a hockey player with a rapper attitude? Ice Cube!
Why do hockey players use smartphones? To stay updated with the scores, they love their apps and pucks!
Did you hear about the hockey player that could play any position? He was a real jack-of-all-trades!
What’s a hockey player’s preferred mode of transportation? A Zamboni, of course!
Why do hockey players carry a spare stick? In case they get into a sticky situation!

Overtime Laughs: Endless Entertainment with Hockey Wordplay

When hockey players get older, they don’t retire—they just go on ice-olation!
Don’t trust an atom on skates, they make up everything about hockey.
I told my friend I saw a hockey game on Mars. He didn’t believe me until I showed him the Mars-ksman!
How do you know if a goalie is good at math? He always catches the puck in the right angle!
Why do hockey players work at bakeries? Because they’re great at icing!
What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? Ghoul-tender!
Why did the hockey team travel to the bank? To get their checked dollars.
Why was the computer so good at hockey? Because it had a hard drive!
I tried to play hockey with a broken stick, but I couldn’t get a handle on it.
When you cross a hockey player with a magician, you get a hat trick every time!
Why do hockey players always carry a map? So they can find the face-off circle!
Why was the hockey book so sad? Because it had too many checks!
How do you compliment a hockey team? “Ice to meet you, you guys play really cool!”
Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because they prefer penal-tea!
What do hockey players sing when they clean the ice? “Sweep Caroline!”
Why was the hockey team good at dodgeball? They were great at avoiding the puck!
I’m not saying the hockey team is bad at playing, but they might have better luck if they switch to broomball.
What’s a hockey player’s favorite kind of pass? A bypass—it lets them skip the traffic!
How do hockey players stay cool? By chilling in the penalty box.
What’s a dentist’s favorite hockey position? The tooth defender!
Why was the hockey rink hot after the game? All the fans left.
Why are hockey players great dancers? They have the best puck-and-roll moves.
Why don’t hockey players get hot? They always stick to the ice.
Did you hear about the hockey player who wrote a book? It was a best chiller!
Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? Just in case he needed to tie the score!

Conclusion: The Final Buzzer on Hockey Puns

And there you have it, folks – we’ve hit the final buzzer in our game of hockey puns. Whether you’re a fan in the stands or a player on the ice, I hope these quips and jests have added a little extra zing to your slapshot. Remember, humor is like a good hockey game; it’s all about timing, teamwork, and sometimes just throwing something at the net and hoping for the best. So next time the puck drops, share a pun with your teammates or fellow fans. You might just find that laughter is the best way to break the ice, both on and off the rink. Keep stick-handling through life with a smile on your face, and never forget – when it comes to hockey humor, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So take that shot, and let the good times roll!